Purely happy

Pn. Mugil our english teacher gave us an assignment, she asked us to count or calculate how many hours we sleep, we eat, we study, we think, we u knw do something, and minus them all with 24 hours, but then she said the important thing was to get how many hours or minutes or even seconds that we're actually purely happy.

Then I thought, woww, that's just really hard. I mean to know how long im actually purely happy needs me to think about it. And thinking about how long im actually purely happy is not actually the truthful answer for how long i really am happy. I haven't been really purely happy this year. It's impossible to reach. Being really happy and purely happy are two different things. For me purely happy is not trying to be happy, is not to find a reason that makes me feel that way, is not to "think" about being happy, about analysing the hours or minutes, not really observing myself for it, but to actually FEEL happy. That's a difficult task..

For me, being purely happy is being able to be myself and not have any restrictions for that.

Sometimes you tend to be the person other people wants you to be.

I tend to do that. Honestly speaking, i do.

I am never happy with anything in my life.

Which concludes that i am sometimes ungrateful to be alive.

Which also concludes that i feel guilty for it.

But being happy and being relieved about life is just something hard.

Though, i will try my best to really feel purely happy. For once, in my life.