Freak

I admit that im a freak. I have freaky and scary habits, attitude... Haha, plus im bipolar, i know i keep telling everyone that im bipolar and i can't get enough of it. No one would probably care abt what i am or how i am. Im really not making this as a big deal, i just find it fun and i make it as a reminder to myself that im naturally a freak.

1# I arrange my pens, i have at least 10 blue pens and 2 black pens. I hate black pens bcause it makes my work look untidy. I love blue pens bcause it's refreshing for me.

2# I have to have at least 3 erasers, 3 rulers, and 3 sharpeners. I have post its for every subject, different different colours bcause it's just common to have the yellow one.

3# I have three pencil cases, 1 pencil case for my pens and pencils. Another one for my rulers, erasers, sharpeners, stapler, cllphntape, the stapler bullets, and whatever tht i cn find as a tool. The last pencil case, i put my mathematics apparatus, thts wht i call it :P The potractors and compasses, i have at least 2 for each type.

4# I looooove to coook, everytime there's an event or some occassion, i'll volunteer to cook. I'll google a week before about any ideas on wht i cn cook. But i hate baking, it's just not my thing. I mean yeah sure it's fun but its not my thing.

5# I love addmath more than math, i've always scored addmath more higher than math. And gotten more A's in addmath than math, bcause i sometimes find math hard, but i still love it.

6# If you give me sugar/coffee/chocolate, anything sweet and u know, i'll be hyper maybe at least 10 seconds after that. And be hyper for at least 15 minutes, depending on the amount of it. When im hyper, it doesn;t mean that im happy,i could be sad and happy and sad and happy. When im hyper, those two emotions will blend it together like a watermelon juice and i just won't know what im actually feeling at tht moment of time.

7# I skip dinner bcause i feel fat and everytime i wear something tht's tight, i'll cry and tell myself tht im fat, and try to stop eating.

8# I love dull colours bcause it makes me look mature than my age. I love grey, brown, beige, navy blue and more dull colours. I know it rlly doesnt matter wht colour you wear, even if it makes you look mature, but you're not mentally. I don't wanna judge myself in tht section and i don't recommend any of you do. But it doesnt matter anyways bcause no one has any impact to me, unless if they rlly mean something to me.

9# Mixed emotions. I've never been friends with someone more than 6 years. The only people that i've been friends with tht long, is emma and ashiqin and now im not even bestfriends with emma, just ashiqin. I get bored of people really easily. So when im bored of them, i sometimes tend to over judge, i judge but i don't backstabb them, i always keep it inside and then it'll be like this big mountain and this big mountain will create this obstacle between me and another friend of mine, and we'll feel more distant, and the bond eventually breaks. And then i'll start to find a new friend, tht actually understands me.

10# When im sad, i can cry and laugh at the same time. I always dream about the what ifs. What if i didnt exist, what if i was gone, would anyone notice or would they regret of wht they did to me, or would i regret of wht i did to them. Have i ever made an impact to someones life? Maybe even a stranger?

11# I don't wear my specs all the time even if my specs power is 500 :P bcause i have low self esteem and i'll feel ugly abt myself. I only wear it when im studying, or when i wanna watch tv. But thts if my family is there and my closest friends.

12# When guys add me on fb, i approve them, well the ones tht has mutual friends with me of course. But when they say hi, just one hi, i'll block them. For no reason, because i feel disgusted easily by guys. And when they ask me if they culd get to know me, i tell them that i have no time to do tht and tht it's not even something beneficial to me. Im brutally honest with guys, not bcause im not aware tht they have a heart, i just think tht im just a stranger saying tht and it doesn't rlly matter on wht i say to them bcause i know i don't matter to them too. Im not important to them and theyre not important to me. Simple as that. Im only friendly with guys that my family knows or guys tht are related to my close friends but thts also very jarang.

13# I'll get pissed of everytime a guy talks about a girl, not bcause im against of girls! Im a girl myself, i just dont get why guys have to talk abt girls every second, it's soooo tiring and stupid, and its not tht girls are stupid. I just think tht theres no point for guys to talk abt a girl and make them look cool by doing tht, i don't find it cool at all. I just find it shallow, and pathetic. If you dated a girl, would she feed you or takes care of you when ur sick or when ur hving difficulties with yr life problems? I mean some does, but there are limits to it. Teenagers, still young. U cant do anything abt it, it's all talk, no action.

14# I talk like nobody's business, and i talk really really really realllyyy when i sayy really i MEAN REALLY REALLYY REALLY FAST! You'll get used to it after maybe 2 years? Haha. Some people still find it hard to understand me. I talk soooooooo fast sometimes i dont even understand myself. Bcause i just have so much theories in my mind and sometimes im afraid tht my mind will forget abt the thoughts tht are running through my mind, and my memory would be empty. and i'd have nothing to say abt anything, and i'd have no theories to talk abt even if i alrdy thought abt it, bcause without my mind catching those thoughts, i can never actually speak up abt it. That's why i type rlly fast and i talk rlly fast, bcause i wanna tell people abt wht i think. And i can't say something following with the fast speed of my thoughts. I just cant'