Used to it

Yesterday we celebrated teacher's day at my school, and it was definitely a touching moment for me. I was sitting behind the stage, looking at all the performers getting ready, then suddenly it was the morning session teachers to perform. It was sooooo cute, haha they were all wearing pink wigs with pink skirts! Haha most of them were actually serious teachers, so looking at them being playful was just... amusing :P And then there i was laughing and shouting like hell, looking at them, harshiah asked me to follow her to the classroom behind the stage, where it was the changing room for everybdy. But it was empty at that time, so we just sat down. Calmed ourselves. Then I thought, it's my last year at high school. I was always so negative about it, about high school. I always told people how i would never miss high school, and suddenly, this feeling just came, like i was gonna actually leave it, i wasn't gonna feel this way about, u know? So i started crying, and Harshiah looked at me and asked what was wrong, then I told her that i was gonna miss this. So she covered her face and i knew that we were both feeling the same way. All the laughing the touching things, whatever it is, i wasn't gonna experience it again. But people say, you can always visit your school. Yes sure, i can but i can never feel the same way again. Never gonna feel like i was a student there feeling everything that i felt throughout my 11 years of schooling in cbn. And im a cbner since i was standard 1. There are so many memories there in cbn. Im gonna miss high school.
People always say that whoever or however you are in high school determines who you are in the future & Im sure that CBN is shaping the students there in perfect shape and condition. Mentally.

Feel unpretty

1. I wish I could tie you up in my shoes. Make you feel unpretty too.

2. Everytime I think I’m through. It’s because of you

3. You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

4. Never insecure until I met you,
Now I’m being stupid

I feel like the song is telling a story, a story that is similar to mine.

Loooong champ

I just noticed how simple and sweet longchamp is, :)

I think me aunt will give me a longchamp handbag, i knw its not as fancy as coach or whatever? no? haha. But this one really is simple and sweet :)


I want this ooone :(

Nur Kasih

Watched Nur Kasih with my mom and sisters yesterday at klcc. It was a very goood movie, i mean i dont usually watch malay dramas and all but this one, it's one of a kind. When you watch it, you could feel the sincerity from the acting, the passion in this movie. Andd fine i kind of cried a little bit at some parts and i didn't sleep in this one! Meaning it is a good movie :P Bcause its hard to keep me awake if im watching a movie. Unless if its really good :) It also has a lot of moral values, especially about islam and all. The conflicts that they faced in the movie really brings a lot of realization to me. Im sure to other people too. The endurance that they have, how they face death. I also learned that whatever promise that you make to god, whatever it is, it's definitely going be a big deal and it's definitely going to happen. Shows that even a promise you make to a person is a very serious thing.
It's like a chain connecting your words to any future implications. Conclusion is, this movie is definitely worth watching and worth my time.

Dream

Just finished with my physics paper 1 and 2, paper 2 was much more confusing than paper 1 but it was okay overall, :) Next monday is the last day of my exams, paper 3 physics! I really hope im gonna score that paper. I guess next week is a busy week, especially with the teacher's day preparations. The prefects don't even know what performance to do yet, but dont worry! The prefects can always catch up with anything ;) right right right? heh hope soo :P I mean this is the last teacher's day celebration for me, i mean u know high school level cz im alrdy 17 and im gonna finish school soon :/ I can't believe im so oldd, altho if i asked anyone, im sure they would say that i look young :P And when i say young, i don't mean immature! Cz my style is kinda old fashioned, my mom told me i like to wear grandma styled clooothings. haha its kinda true but it looks sweet sometimes, i dont mean ruffles tho! Lots and lots of that reaaaally freaks me out O.O

That faceee freaks me out, haha anyways, I can't wait to have my cooking day with my bestfriend, Ash! I can't say that we're weird, i just wanted to say that we're unique? :P hehe. Kidding. We are actually very freaky. Trust me. After cooking day, thinking of working really hard for my spm. And then invite in more fun later on, on our brdy :D Still planning, don't know if its working or not, which i hope it is going to work bcause i've never had a proper birthday party. You know a birthday party where i invite a lot of friends and give them goody bags that they can bring home or hving games like musical chairs and all. I don't remember that. I think i never had one. I just always attended other kids birthday parties when i was smaller :) It's kinda sad actually, i never had enough friends to invite, I was quite a loner when i was a kid, and look at me now! Im noisy as a mouse! People feel like slapping me every second bcause i can't stop talking and crapping :P Anyways, i just really hope my 17th brdy is gonna work out, bcause this is my last year, my last senior year and we'll never know how its gonna turn out like after everyone finishes high school. You know? Anything can happen.

Wedding ideas for my aunt

I think i shuld give this to my aunt :P

Just gathering some pretty pictures here, since shes getting married soon and she wnts purple ideas and maybe some pink ones too, and a hint of blue :P

RECIPES FOR ASH

http://www.marthastewart.com/284273/brown-sugar-barbecue-chicken-drumettes?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/quick-comfort-food-recipes#slide_1


http://www.marthastewart.com/260492/soy-glazed-salmon?czone=food%2Fdinner-tonight-center%2Fdinner-tonight-main-courses


http://www.marthastewart.com/262377/family-style-rolled-omelet-with-spinach?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/quick-meatless-recipes#slide_23


http://www.marthastewart.com/260054/baked-eggs-and-tortillas-in-creamy-tomat?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/quick-meatless-recipes#slide_54


http://www.marthastewart.com/260579/spaghetti-with-radicchio-and-ricotta?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/quick-meatless-recipes#slide_47


http://www.marthastewart.com/257545/saucy-shrimp-and-grits?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/quick-comfort-food-recipes#slide_2


http://www.marthastewart.com/262673/tortilla-pie-with-chicken?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/quick-comfort-food-recipes#slide_3


http://www.marthastewart.com/262272/buttermilk-fried-chicken?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/quick-comfort-food-recipes#slide_7


under consideration, if ada wine cn replace :)

Friends

I love my friends, i don't know why im all so emo suddenly. I guess i watched this video from glee, where someone died, and listening to the song turning tables from adele/holly holiday frm glee. When someone's gone, then you'll feel like you lost someone, you can't hide your ego anymore, you can't hide anything. You won't know what to say, you won't know what exactly you should feel. You won't know what you could do. What you could do to just hv a few more seconds to actually hold that person again or see that person again, or hear from the person. Then all you would feel is regret, and that dissapointment. That blame. Blaming yourself for not doing wht you could have done. The only thing i wanna say now is thanks, thank you to my family. My friends, my dearest friends. My friends who were always there for me. There was never a sigh when i told you guys abt my life, there were never lies, no insincerity. There was never a pause, you guys never had to wear a magnifying glass to know what was wrong with me, or what was right. You guys were always putting effort to be the best and never expect anything in return. I was always the girl who wanted to fit in. I have been searching for the right friends, right type of friends. And now i don't even have to try anymore, i don't even have to try to be happy anymore because i know i have you guys to wipe away my tears when i feel sad, to hug me when i need to hide my face or to pour my feelings out, to cheer me up like sunny side up eggs with all of the hillarious and crappy jokes when im down and frustrated. Thank you to Noor Ashiqin, Nahra Yasmin, Nicole Chan, Aina, Sonia & Dian Amani. Thank you.

!7th

CURRENTLY BUSY WITH EXAMS AND PLANNING MY 17TH BRDY WITH MY BESTFRIEND NOOR ASHIQIN. I AMM SOO EXCITED, WE SOO EXCITEEEDD. baii :D

Something borrowed :)

I was searching for new movies to watch till i come across this trailer of "something borrowed", at youtube. And i can't waiiiiit till its out, if its gonna be out here, which i hope it will :) This movie kind of reflects the life of one of my friends. And i can't wait to watch this, haha people say tht at the early of the trailer, they see the girl arranging the pens as me, i mean yeah, finee i guess? haha but anyways this is the trailer.

and this is the second trailer.




And ashiqin and I can't wait to watch this movie, :) So i got so excited bcause in this trailer, i found a dance scene, tht kade hudson and ginnifer goodwin did in this movie, sooo i searched for it, anddd this is what i found




Ashiqin and i planned to learn it, yes? :P

Freak

I admit that im a freak. I have freaky and scary habits, attitude... Haha, plus im bipolar, i know i keep telling everyone that im bipolar and i can't get enough of it. No one would probably care abt what i am or how i am. Im really not making this as a big deal, i just find it fun and i make it as a reminder to myself that im naturally a freak.

1# I arrange my pens, i have at least 10 blue pens and 2 black pens. I hate black pens bcause it makes my work look untidy. I love blue pens bcause it's refreshing for me.

2# I have to have at least 3 erasers, 3 rulers, and 3 sharpeners. I have post its for every subject, different different colours bcause it's just common to have the yellow one.

3# I have three pencil cases, 1 pencil case for my pens and pencils. Another one for my rulers, erasers, sharpeners, stapler, cllphntape, the stapler bullets, and whatever tht i cn find as a tool. The last pencil case, i put my mathematics apparatus, thts wht i call it :P The potractors and compasses, i have at least 2 for each type.

4# I looooove to coook, everytime there's an event or some occassion, i'll volunteer to cook. I'll google a week before about any ideas on wht i cn cook. But i hate baking, it's just not my thing. I mean yeah sure it's fun but its not my thing.

5# I love addmath more than math, i've always scored addmath more higher than math. And gotten more A's in addmath than math, bcause i sometimes find math hard, but i still love it.

6# If you give me sugar/coffee/chocolate, anything sweet and u know, i'll be hyper maybe at least 10 seconds after that. And be hyper for at least 15 minutes, depending on the amount of it. When im hyper, it doesn;t mean that im happy,i could be sad and happy and sad and happy. When im hyper, those two emotions will blend it together like a watermelon juice and i just won't know what im actually feeling at tht moment of time.

7# I skip dinner bcause i feel fat and everytime i wear something tht's tight, i'll cry and tell myself tht im fat, and try to stop eating.

8# I love dull colours bcause it makes me look mature than my age. I love grey, brown, beige, navy blue and more dull colours. I know it rlly doesnt matter wht colour you wear, even if it makes you look mature, but you're not mentally. I don't wanna judge myself in tht section and i don't recommend any of you do. But it doesnt matter anyways bcause no one has any impact to me, unless if they rlly mean something to me.

9# Mixed emotions. I've never been friends with someone more than 6 years. The only people that i've been friends with tht long, is emma and ashiqin and now im not even bestfriends with emma, just ashiqin. I get bored of people really easily. So when im bored of them, i sometimes tend to over judge, i judge but i don't backstabb them, i always keep it inside and then it'll be like this big mountain and this big mountain will create this obstacle between me and another friend of mine, and we'll feel more distant, and the bond eventually breaks. And then i'll start to find a new friend, tht actually understands me.

10# When im sad, i can cry and laugh at the same time. I always dream about the what ifs. What if i didnt exist, what if i was gone, would anyone notice or would they regret of wht they did to me, or would i regret of wht i did to them. Have i ever made an impact to someones life? Maybe even a stranger?

11# I don't wear my specs all the time even if my specs power is 500 :P bcause i have low self esteem and i'll feel ugly abt myself. I only wear it when im studying, or when i wanna watch tv. But thts if my family is there and my closest friends.

12# When guys add me on fb, i approve them, well the ones tht has mutual friends with me of course. But when they say hi, just one hi, i'll block them. For no reason, because i feel disgusted easily by guys. And when they ask me if they culd get to know me, i tell them that i have no time to do tht and tht it's not even something beneficial to me. Im brutally honest with guys, not bcause im not aware tht they have a heart, i just think tht im just a stranger saying tht and it doesn't rlly matter on wht i say to them bcause i know i don't matter to them too. Im not important to them and theyre not important to me. Simple as that. Im only friendly with guys that my family knows or guys tht are related to my close friends but thts also very jarang.

13# I'll get pissed of everytime a guy talks about a girl, not bcause im against of girls! Im a girl myself, i just dont get why guys have to talk abt girls every second, it's soooo tiring and stupid, and its not tht girls are stupid. I just think tht theres no point for guys to talk abt a girl and make them look cool by doing tht, i don't find it cool at all. I just find it shallow, and pathetic. If you dated a girl, would she feed you or takes care of you when ur sick or when ur hving difficulties with yr life problems? I mean some does, but there are limits to it. Teenagers, still young. U cant do anything abt it, it's all talk, no action.

14# I talk like nobody's business, and i talk really really really realllyyy when i sayy really i MEAN REALLY REALLYY REALLY FAST! You'll get used to it after maybe 2 years? Haha. Some people still find it hard to understand me. I talk soooooooo fast sometimes i dont even understand myself. Bcause i just have so much theories in my mind and sometimes im afraid tht my mind will forget abt the thoughts tht are running through my mind, and my memory would be empty. and i'd have nothing to say abt anything, and i'd have no theories to talk abt even if i alrdy thought abt it, bcause without my mind catching those thoughts, i can never actually speak up abt it. That's why i type rlly fast and i talk rlly fast, bcause i wanna tell people abt wht i think. And i can't say something following with the fast speed of my thoughts. I just cant'

I love my bestfriend more than chocolate

HAHAHA the title is random i KNOWW ;P blame it on the coffee, i've been drinking a lot of coffee, a loooot and its not goood, bcause i hate coffee and coffee makes me feel hyper and when im hyper, people think im not serious, when they think im not serious, i just laugh at myself and think tht im nt serious too -.-" and i'll hv a bad impression abt myself, then i wont even like myself :( GET THE CONNECTION? hahaha anyways, had fun at ashiqin's brobro's wedding, :D And the brideee is sooo very the sweet and pretty :) They looked so happy! And i got a new friend, her name's mimi :) she's rlly nice, and she's ashiqin's cousin! so it was a great weekend, :)

Ashiqin, Me & Mimi :)

Mother's day :)

Happy Mother's Day, mama! Since you've always wnted to rest, hahaha. I figured, i could help you with the cooking, made breakfast and lunch for you :) (& the other members of the family who didnt help -.-")
but thanks :P hahaha.

I woke up at 7.17am, took a bath and get rdy with the food, below here is one of my fillings for the eggs and vegetable burrito, just needed to heat it for a few seconds because the tomatoes then will be too soft.

I had to grate the parmesan cheese, so tht i cn sprinkle it on top of my linguine. Hand cramp doing tht for quite a long time :( And then my younger sister had to steal the bowl and eat the cheese alone -.-" But the cheese was good, esp when my aunt bought it from holland :D

This is for breakfast, eggs & vegetable burrito :)



& this is for lunch, my garlic and oil linguine, :D

:D

Finished my peka, YEEEEEESS, done all the corrections and did the last peka! Revised a lot for math and addmath :D Just bad news for my baju kurung, the tailor who made my baju kurung, made the size of the baju kurung triple my size :( And dont have time to alter it, so i'd have to wear my mom's baju kurung moden, which is red in colour :( But oh well, maybe i can wear my new baju kurung next time. After all everything happens for a reason :) Alhamdulillah that I have something nice to wear, even if its not new! At least it fits, phewww. Haha.

Today in class;
Iman Redza: Class whats ur height! i need to put this in peka,
Class: mine is ...... its 17... 15.... mine is..!
Iman Redza: OKAY OKAY, wait! Lemme call you guys.
*shouts their weights... then my turn*
Iman Redza: Tashaaaaa whats urs?
Me: *whispers* 154....
Iman Redza: u know we're putting this in peka? haha
Me: daamnnn hehe, *knocks head.

I guess theres' no point whispering about it :P

Touched :')

What Noor Ashiqin said on her blog :)

"Ezleen Natasha and I have come a long way. We have known each other since we were 11 going on 12.
And look at us now, seniors in high school, still best friends. We are the type who when we don't talk to each other for a few days or weeks, we would meet each other and fall back into sequence
like no time has passed since we last spoke. And I'm glad to have her back then and now, I see her as family. Someone who I can rely on, and will be one of those permanent people in my life, a person who will be in my living room emptying my fridge and watching my tv until I die. Someone who hates hugs but will give me a hoog anyway if she sees I'm sad."

Overcoming Obstacles

Whether you are blessed with soul mates.. or with those who walk with you just a little while, not one of these friends crosses your path by chance. Each is a messenger, sent by God, to give you the wisdom, companionship, comfort, or challenge you need for a particular leg of your spiritual journey :) - Traci Mullins.


A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small silly presents every so often just to save it from drying out completely - Pam Brown

Found this in the chicken soup book im reading :)