I don't know why lately i've become very depressed. In some situations, i lost my specs, i couldnt study at all, i lost focus in my studies, especially when the teacher is writing equations or questions or anything at the whiteboard, and guess what row i sit in class? The first row. Im in the middle!
The whiteboard is just infront of me. Like without any angles or 60 or 70, it's a perfect 90 degree!
But so anyways, i feel stupid, and teacher announced tht we all have to wear our baju kebangsaan this friday, yesterday night i tried out some baju kurung and kebaya, my baju kurung all cnnot fit anymore, my butt's too big and etc. I was so depressed i reached out for my phone and talked to farhan faris and atasha liu. They made me feel wayy better. Especially farhan. I mean okay everyone has a secret, and i have my own secrets, and well after he knew about it, he gave me this strength somehow to not make the mistake. But its something i cant avoid, i'll always feel this way. I just felt like i could be whoever i am without thinking about my weight, shape and everything when im talking to him. He's such a good bestfriend and talking about struggling in life, He's such a strong person and thts one thing i admire about him.
And now im not talking to him and i feel bad abt myself again :( Im not saying he didnt give a strong impact on me, he did, he really did. But im just too stubborn to believe in myself.
Im fat, fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat , and it makes me feel worst when skinny people at school are saying they're fat.
But thank you Farhan Faris, :)
& Atasha Liu <3
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