Race

Havent been updating my blog, for quite awhile. Im having a feeling tht i'll stop updating it soon, maybe until im actually free, i havent been feeling very well. Tho, that's not the story now. During the period of time where i felt rlly sick, literally sick. I noticed something that i havent noticed. For a long time. Which was the value of family. They were there for me, when I needed them. I was sick and i was so scared something was gonna happen to me. The names of people that i care and love about just appears in my mind and it was like a wake up call to me.

A wake up call telling me that i should start appreciating my life, appreciating what ive got now, instead of to blind myself and paint something thats temporary. And wow, people would just say, you just got tht wake up call now? i mean like now? seriously? just now? i know it might be a little late for that, but its never too late for me to do something about it. I've been so angry about a lot of things. I've been judging a lot of things and people. I never really had the right to. Acceptance is something hard. For me. Acceptance of life, fate. But like I said, that wake up call really did slap me in the face. If i believe in myself, I can do anything. It is the most cliche thing anyone could ever say about life, it really is. Bcause okay you have a starting line, you're in a race. Okay, you've alrdy set your mind to win. To get first place, to beat the others. To just put aside anything and focus. You're alrdy determined. Thats the first step, and then when they blew the whistle, you just start to press that green button in the middle of ur heart. And you just tell yourself, go. But then this race wasn't a short race, it wasnt just a few metres. It was a few kilometres. And you start to get tired. And all these feelings will come to you and tell you, enough, its okayy. you can stop trying now, you're too tired to face this. You're gonna fall and get yrself injured if u push yrself to the limit. And your heart which was beating so fast is listening to all these small voices that your head trasmits thru ur body, and yr heart tells you, noo, dont stop, u promised to put aside ANYTHING, tht was gonna get in your way. And you get confused. You don't know what to do, you don't know which to choose. Which decision would be the one that you wont regret choosing? That is life.

All these voices, obstacles, people you dislike, a society you think is trash, things that are a waste of time, unworthy of your attention. They are those little voices that will be transmitted through your life. Tho, life is not a race, it is a journey, so appreciate every pit stop u have, by making it worthwhile. I promise myself to focus on things that matter. And put aside most of the things that are not. I will try my best.

Appreciation of life itself, becoming suddenly aware of the miracle of being alive, on this planet, can turn what we call ordinary life into a miracle. We come awake to such a realization when we recognize our connection to a spiritual dimension. - Dan Wakefield