"Best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway."
"When you look around and your world is crumbling or when you think no one loves you, your best friend is the one to run to you."
17 March 2011
14 March 2011
Unknown
I need a kick start for everything, i havent done anything that's productive, well not rlly anything, ive done some lil tiny bit things but i dont feel like its enough. Although, i'd have to rlly be motivated to start doing something bcause i sure have a heavy ass. It's sticks on anything tht i sit on. Hmm, well now i dont know what to say anymore. Oh yeah and ive been so exhausted searching for a career pathaway of becoming a lecturer. I mean yeah people tell me u just have to study the subject tht u wuld like to teach and have a masters for it, or something and just maybe go for an interview and see if they accept u. Well tht sounds easy. Even the doctorjob book i read said that, its just tht i find it difficult to find a university that offers a degree in mathematics. Haha u must be laughing now bcause u probably thought, hey i thot they teach mathematics at universities, i mean it is one of the subjects when u study business, or finance, or marketing, or anything tht involves maths. Well yes, that is the kind of major that you see tht offers math. But i specifically want to learn mathematics, You know like all angles of mathematics, further mathematics, pure and applied ones too. All sides of it. I love mathematics, it's like my life. And another thing that's a part of my passion percentage is teaching. I find it fun to teach, especially mathematics, sometimes my friends turn to me when it comes to mathematics. If it was other subject, i think i would just say, "im sorry i cant help" bcause i dont know a lot of things abt it, and when i dont know or im not sure of something, i wouldnt just teach them and try to make myself look good by teaching them. That would be educating them with the wrong info, and even if i wouldnt look like a fool to them. I would feel like a fool myself. Haha that's one thing tht i dont like about people, if they dont know something and they try to teach other people about it and other people end up getting the wrong info, and the person who teaches looks like a hero. You know you can always just say, "im not sure about this question and i dont wanna teach u the wrong thing, sorry, maybe .... can help, why dont u ask her" or "i think the page 3289478907 in book kfnoskdnf has the info about this, sorry"
Why is it so hard for someone to do that? Why? Bcause then other people would think that you're stupid? No, dont ever think of it that way bcause when someone is asking you to teach them, they expect to know the right thing. You might think tht its not a big deal bcause its just some small info about studies, but trust me when someone is taught by someone abt something, they'll end up remembering it for a long time and they probably rlly trust the person.
Anyways back to what i was saying, when i teach my friends math, i feel like im not asking anything in return. When i teach them math, i dont feel like im great, i just feel like what i did helped someone. Not that tht something does not make me feel great, what i meant was being too proud of myself.
It teaches me to feel humble, to actually learn that nobody is perfect. And that teaching them makes me feel like i've contributed something to someone.
It makes me feel like a good person when i know im not. Bcause im always so critical, so judgemental, so stubborn and hot tempered. I always feel like nothing or no one can actually measure up to my level of perfection, and i always thought that perfection was everything even if im not perfect myself. Im always taking a lot of things so seriously, and i judge other people just as much as i judge myself.
It's mean to them and to myself. And i'd probably have to stop that bcause tht attitude of mine has been causing me to lose a lot of people in my life. I still remember the old me when i was more judgemental, i would change bestfriends every year, bcause i think that they werent perfect enugh to be my friend. Well thats rlly mean of me bcause i shuldve realised tht nobody is perfect, not even me. And i should accept them for it, well thts the hard part here, i find it hard to accept them, their flaws. So i said to myself tht i shuldnt fake the friendship if i culdnt accept their flaws. And the longest bestfriend i have now is Ashiqin, looks like i culd stand her, so im grateful for it. Well not tht i stand her all the time, sometimes i feel like smacking her but i still care for her and still think that our friendship is worth it. Also with my other bestfriend Iman, looks like there's another person tht i can stand with, wait wait, i cant stand her :P I also feel like i wanna fly kick her.
Conclusion is, we're all so messed up with each other sometimes tht we would like to kill each other and pull each other's hair but in the end, our friendship is still so valuable and nothing could ever cut that bond between us. We're like particles, so packed together. The forces of attraction is so tight, we dont have a high boiling point or a high melting point bcause tht'll still mean tht we're breakable with a high condition. But even a high condition cant break us apart :)
Why is it so hard for someone to do that? Why? Bcause then other people would think that you're stupid? No, dont ever think of it that way bcause when someone is asking you to teach them, they expect to know the right thing. You might think tht its not a big deal bcause its just some small info about studies, but trust me when someone is taught by someone abt something, they'll end up remembering it for a long time and they probably rlly trust the person.
Anyways back to what i was saying, when i teach my friends math, i feel like im not asking anything in return. When i teach them math, i dont feel like im great, i just feel like what i did helped someone. Not that tht something does not make me feel great, what i meant was being too proud of myself.
It teaches me to feel humble, to actually learn that nobody is perfect. And that teaching them makes me feel like i've contributed something to someone.
It makes me feel like a good person when i know im not. Bcause im always so critical, so judgemental, so stubborn and hot tempered. I always feel like nothing or no one can actually measure up to my level of perfection, and i always thought that perfection was everything even if im not perfect myself. Im always taking a lot of things so seriously, and i judge other people just as much as i judge myself.
It's mean to them and to myself. And i'd probably have to stop that bcause tht attitude of mine has been causing me to lose a lot of people in my life. I still remember the old me when i was more judgemental, i would change bestfriends every year, bcause i think that they werent perfect enugh to be my friend. Well thats rlly mean of me bcause i shuldve realised tht nobody is perfect, not even me. And i should accept them for it, well thts the hard part here, i find it hard to accept them, their flaws. So i said to myself tht i shuldnt fake the friendship if i culdnt accept their flaws. And the longest bestfriend i have now is Ashiqin, looks like i culd stand her, so im grateful for it. Well not tht i stand her all the time, sometimes i feel like smacking her but i still care for her and still think that our friendship is worth it. Also with my other bestfriend Iman, looks like there's another person tht i can stand with, wait wait, i cant stand her :P I also feel like i wanna fly kick her.
Conclusion is, we're all so messed up with each other sometimes tht we would like to kill each other and pull each other's hair but in the end, our friendship is still so valuable and nothing could ever cut that bond between us. We're like particles, so packed together. The forces of attraction is so tight, we dont have a high boiling point or a high melting point bcause tht'll still mean tht we're breakable with a high condition. But even a high condition cant break us apart :)
12 March 2011
Lets.
talk about everything..
Got all my first intervention results, i failed one subject and im not tht dissapointed with it bcause i knew i didnt study for it and i shuldnt feel like i failed bcause i didnt even try, well thts one thing, another thing is also bcause they said the skope was only for topic 1,4,9, and 10. But suddenly they said it was actually everything! But fine, it would be a lie if i said tht i didnt feel down tht i failed one subject. Well, im happy for the 3A's i got, at least. Bahasa Malaysia (FIRST TIME A) haha i suck, hmm english and maths. Those are just basic subjects, but i mean at least i can count on them to guarantee myself the existence of A in my report card. I got a B for my addmath and chemistry. Shockingly a B for my chemistry, i think its a B, bcause we havent got our paper 2 but then in the report of our results, its stated there B. So yeah i dont know hehe. I got 67 for my chem and thts quite shocking bcause ive always failed chemistry and then i suddenly got B. and i know wht u guys might think, i got soalan bocor and alallaala. But i didnt, i wish i did HAHA but i didnt, im kidding i didnt wish i got soalan bocor. I mean its good, at least i didnt lie to myself, i mean that is the most important lesson behind it. Maybe i got a hint on which experiment tht was gonna come out for paper 3 but tht was it and tht was only 17 marks. Im quite happy with my paper 1! :) Im starting to love chemistry, and i alrdy memorised the charges and the ions, and the positions and tht discharge and all, its so fun :D But sadly, i thought i could get higher for my addmath, i cant believe i only got a B for my addmath, even if only 9 people passed in my class, i could've done better, this is my first B, but i know i shuldnt be too hard on myself. Bcause i dont wanna be those people who got really high marks for something and they just mourn and mourn for higher marks. And then they'll be really worked up and stressed to other people who actually got lower than them. What a great motivation to other people ay? :)
It makes people so disgusted with you. But then i understand how they feel, i mean we all come from different environments, sometimes those people theyre just sad and dissapointed with what they got even if its rlly good, is bcause theyre just used to that pressure level where they always get the best of everything. And their parents keep pushing them and pushing them to be the best, and theres no break. I pity them bcause then they would never learn the true definition of failure, but i dont exactly completely blame them for being tht way. Sometimes one of the factors tht happens is bcause of their parents. I mean you see suicide rate or statistics, most of it came from the pressure thts caused by the parents.
Conclusion, i wont be too hard on myself but i'll keep pushing myself to do better.
and the othrs are normalll results, static, no change, tht i'd have to improve too -.-" haha.
Other than results, wellll,
on wednesday i went to subway with fiona aurelia and amelia soo, to discuss about our class drama, no one is cooperating, not exactly no one but all the work is dumped onto a small group of people and thts really dissapointing bcause i thought we had a really good strong bond with our classmates and tht suddenly fell apart.
Anyways after buying sub of de dayy :D meeaatballss, hahaha Iman Nedhiera and Atasha Liu arrived :) they arrived after their pauline practice, and and and fiona HAD TO TELL THEM HOW I ATE MY SANDWICH :( its not like its a big deal or anything :(
I only pinch my sandwich and bring out the content, hee? anywayss, my sister just called me, BOIIII.
Got all my first intervention results, i failed one subject and im not tht dissapointed with it bcause i knew i didnt study for it and i shuldnt feel like i failed bcause i didnt even try, well thts one thing, another thing is also bcause they said the skope was only for topic 1,4,9, and 10. But suddenly they said it was actually everything! But fine, it would be a lie if i said tht i didnt feel down tht i failed one subject. Well, im happy for the 3A's i got, at least. Bahasa Malaysia (FIRST TIME A) haha i suck, hmm english and maths. Those are just basic subjects, but i mean at least i can count on them to guarantee myself the existence of A in my report card. I got a B for my addmath and chemistry. Shockingly a B for my chemistry, i think its a B, bcause we havent got our paper 2 but then in the report of our results, its stated there B. So yeah i dont know hehe. I got 67 for my chem and thts quite shocking bcause ive always failed chemistry and then i suddenly got B. and i know wht u guys might think, i got soalan bocor and alallaala. But i didnt, i wish i did HAHA but i didnt, im kidding i didnt wish i got soalan bocor. I mean its good, at least i didnt lie to myself, i mean that is the most important lesson behind it. Maybe i got a hint on which experiment tht was gonna come out for paper 3 but tht was it and tht was only 17 marks. Im quite happy with my paper 1! :) Im starting to love chemistry, and i alrdy memorised the charges and the ions, and the positions and tht discharge and all, its so fun :D But sadly, i thought i could get higher for my addmath, i cant believe i only got a B for my addmath, even if only 9 people passed in my class, i could've done better, this is my first B, but i know i shuldnt be too hard on myself. Bcause i dont wanna be those people who got really high marks for something and they just mourn and mourn for higher marks. And then they'll be really worked up and stressed to other people who actually got lower than them. What a great motivation to other people ay? :)
It makes people so disgusted with you. But then i understand how they feel, i mean we all come from different environments, sometimes those people theyre just sad and dissapointed with what they got even if its rlly good, is bcause theyre just used to that pressure level where they always get the best of everything. And their parents keep pushing them and pushing them to be the best, and theres no break. I pity them bcause then they would never learn the true definition of failure, but i dont exactly completely blame them for being tht way. Sometimes one of the factors tht happens is bcause of their parents. I mean you see suicide rate or statistics, most of it came from the pressure thts caused by the parents.
Conclusion, i wont be too hard on myself but i'll keep pushing myself to do better.
and the othrs are normalll results, static, no change, tht i'd have to improve too -.-" haha.
Other than results, wellll,
on wednesday i went to subway with fiona aurelia and amelia soo, to discuss about our class drama, no one is cooperating, not exactly no one but all the work is dumped onto a small group of people and thts really dissapointing bcause i thought we had a really good strong bond with our classmates and tht suddenly fell apart.
Anyways after buying sub of de dayy :D meeaatballss, hahaha Iman Nedhiera and Atasha Liu arrived :) they arrived after their pauline practice, and and and fiona HAD TO TELL THEM HOW I ATE MY SANDWICH :( its not like its a big deal or anything :(
I only pinch my sandwich and bring out the content, hee? anywayss, my sister just called me, BOIIII.
05 March 2011
AUGUST BABY! <--- like iman
OOOOH I KNOW SILAT? hahaha yes i dont sulk easily :P thank u very much.
PEMIMPIN HAA ;) hehe wink wink kay bye! since iman did this, i did this too :P
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