Walk away

Who am i kidding? Who doesn't wanna go back? I always tell myself, i live in the present, no looking back, not even thinking about it. But come on, seriously, am i just playing with my mind? Sometimes, the things that mess up in my life are the things that actually attracts me more. Pieces from my past, just keeps on coming and coming. It's like a circle, and i wished it was just a straight line. No shapes, no meeting any ends. But i guess that's not how life works? I mean, haha what am i even talking about?
I miss smilling, i miss laughing just bcause somethings funny, and usually i jst laugh bcause most of the things are just supposedly funny, haha to be honest. I don't even know who i am anymore. I don't wanna please anyone in life. I don't wanna look like "that girl rlly knows how to handle herself, her life, its in order" or i don't wanna feel like "okay, im in the right track, i just need to catch up a little bit and then i'll just have the prefect path" or wanting to make people feel like im someone. I really don't care what other people think of me. Okay maybe just a little bit, but i definitely do not care what they think about me and my life. I mean it is my life, isnt it?
Sometimes i laugh to myself, bcause i always see people around me, trying to be what they're not, trying to please others, trying to show people that they're this perfect sweet and simple girl, thts just innocent and nice and just a pretty little flower that they forget who they really are. Those people will live a life that's full of ass kissing.
And they're always fake to themselves. I kinda think its pathetic. I really do.

I don't know why im full of anger, but i like it this way, i mean, i speak the truth when im mad. Bcause when im composed, im actually in control of myself. And sometimes im tired of being in control of myself, i just wanna let loose and have fun and be myself. And live my life well, that's all im asking for. And i know im the main worker, the main worker to make this event successful.