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In this post, there are gonna be some missing words. But it's for me to understand only, and if you do then great, if u dont, i'll leave it as a mystery.

I never knew it was supposed to be this way, of all the previous i thought it was all about hoping for . I just thought having faith in something that i hoped would actually help me get it. I guess not. It wasn't about receiving it, it was about the reason or the change or the impact that would shake you. Maybe something that wouldn't come to me bcause it was all just a :) I always hoped and hoped and hoped, yes it was great to feel like something about it. But it'll only build dissapointments.
Nobody ever knows how life works, nobody ever knows if something is not worth it or is worth it. Some first perspective would say that this is bcause you have to arrange this and that, and you have to get your emotions just right. And not go mad, not go angry, not go sad, not go too happy about it. But nobody can ever control it. They say that maybe the things that you do now changes your life. Yes it does, i agree, but whatever it is. We can never know what changes it, how the changes are, what the effects are to someone. Or how much happiness it brings, sadness, or dissapointments.
So im saying, whatever we do, whatever you do, whatever i do. We can never know how it change us, change our future, change our life, or change our surroundings. So why do you have to be so composed about it?