Whats been going on lately

Okay so, whats been going on? A lot, Im so worried abt my agama results, othrs im potentially confidnt i culd do better but i feel like im not moving anywhere for the agama subject.
Things have been really different for my surrounding. I feel more alone in a way that i find peace.
The only person i turn to now is ashiqin, i mean constntly i turn to her, she's always there, and she's an einstein.
Well thank god, i havent been using my credit tht much, losing him was gving me the benefit to save my money, although he is still my friend, but nw i dnt think i wish to get involve with him. Because if i was involve with him, i'd remember the old times and i'd still care abt whats going on with his life. At the same time, i'd get hurt knwing if he was someone new with new surroundings i culd never accept.
I dnt always fight for what i want, when im supposed to be fighting for what i need. He was my need but now it turns into a want, and in the end, nothing. I don't know how to get distant, but i think we alrdy are.
Was planning to tear his letter, throw our pic, throw his pics, delete his msgs, delete our call recordings, throw his nametag, anything tht might bring up the topic of him. I went to school with my very sepet eyes since i naturally hv it, it ended up looking like i was sleep walking. Cried for hours and hours and hours, and suddenly i realized tht i was doing a stupid thing when i culd cry for something else? O.o
Anis was hearing me, Syaza did too, even Sarah. The othrs i didnt rlly care to inform.

I have been feeling better and i took some time to think of the better opportunity for me to run after.
I wanna start praying 5 times a day, read al quran whenever i hv my free time, study and plan my schedule, stop smsing, never entertain guys ecxpt for zarif n faiz (bestfs),

P/s : Reminder fr myself, dnt cry. Be happy :) * dont worry, ooooo, be happy, oooo, dnt worry be happy now! haha. the song :P

And good luck to you anonymous, for facing pmr, hope whatever u say is not a lie, even myb if i suspected u as being the ex gf, haha, i wuldnt mind, bt i dnt think u are, so thnks , tht u told me abt whatever stuff u thought i had to know, and congratulations tht u were strong by facing wht u faced :)

Amin,