FUTURE

You make me go nuts.

I thought everything was going right but i was wrong

Im hating form 4. I hateee ittt. So stressful, its 5 times more stressful than form 3. So to you guys that are younger than me now, APPRECIATE THE POSITION YOU'RE IN. And good luck. Have fun. Go waste your time. Go have an outing twice a week. Go hang out with your friends. -.-"
Haiyhh thinking about what im gonna do after i finish school, just makes me feel like jumping off a building.

So practically im in science stream and i wanna do CULLINARY.

Is it wrong? It seems wrong but its not. Right?

Well, i loveeee coooking. Love it. Love it. And i can imagine myself in that kind of situation.
Although a lot of people would say, "why chef? u know they go back home real late. They get stressed out a lot. They have really oily face because of the heat and all -.-"

Weeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllll,
I still love cooking?
It's my thing, haha. Everyone has their own thang, and if you follow your heart, Maybe you'll make the right choice.
My dad has been asking me, "are u sure u wanna take cullinary?" , "betul nie nak masak?", "are you really sure? U dont wanna take medicine? don't wanna take business? don't wanna take something else?"


Firstly, medicine is sooooooo not me. Imagining me being a doctor, is so weird! Checking people and all. And learning about it, makes me fall asleep.
Business? Yeaa ryteee, im nt that type of person.
Well remember the taxi incident. When the cab driver asked me wht i wanna be later on when i finish school. And when i said i wanna be a chef. He laughed and said tht it was a stupid thing for me to do.
HELLO LOOK IN THE MIRROR WILL YOU. YOU'RE A CAB DRIVER.
haaaaaaaa. Stupid shallow minded person. Its not like im gonna take cullinary and waste it off by opening some small gerai tepi jalan or something!
I wanna work all over the world. I wanna work in a hotel. Or work at some place that has the widest branch. Or maybe even be a private chef to some top famous people. I've been to the education fair before and there's a chef, they story. A chef who was paid 50 000 dollars for one dish, at shangri la i think. And that's only SHANGRI LA. what if i can reach to a higher level? Its worth it, since its something i love combining with a huge amount of moneyy.

Then i can reach my all time life goal by making a huge feast for the poor. The food they can't afford to eat. The poor, orphans. I just can't imagine if i was in their place. I brag too much , even when i am in a good life. Thats human. Who doesn't take things for granted? Everybody does. Except for the ones that sits in the lowest level feeling what we could never put ourselves into,

Those are the people i look up to.

Emptiness

What is with the empty feeling?

Based on ash's version of emptiness, yes mine is like that. Even if you're life is so hectic, you got things to do, you still feel empty. Even if you talk to someone, you feel like your mind is floating away to some wonderland place playing slides and see saws while you're body is doing something it doesnt wish to do.
That kind of empty, i can never explain it that much. Because it's actually invisible. How can you ever describe something invisible? By explaining what you feel about it, isnt it? Not how it looks like. Obviously. Well thats why it's hard for me to really exactly describe what it is.

I just wish something or someone could fill up the blanks for me. Even filling up the spaces.

After laughing or having fun, i have this pause of silence where my mind comes back thinking rationally like it's stopping me from what i wanna do. Making me think that everything is never worth it. Whatever you do, it doesn't make a change.
Never. But your heart keeps fighting for what you feel like doing , although for me, my mind always conquer.

That is why the heart is alone, clueless, empty, nadaaaaa, nothing, GONE BOOM KABAAAM . what the hell am i saying O.o anyways, that's how the emptiness is like.

For me.

I wish that im visible.
I wish that my heart has the ingridients to fill it up.

Ezleen Natasha.

Long gone

Hye ash, im sure you're gonna be skipping and jumping around as im updating my blog. -.-" haha. This is the first time i feel really really really really really feel EMPTY, i never felt empty before. Okay i did but this is like way way empty.
Im so bored. I don't know wht to do. Eventhough i know i should finish up my biology and addmath homework. SHIT. Now i remember haha. Well, i'll do it later!

Just wanna summarize about what has been going on.

Girls day out with Ashiqin, Iman & Emma.

I had a fun time with them. Wish putri could join, then everything would be so complete. Complete of hving the high possibilities to laugh till my throat comes out. Haha. We watched avatar 3D. Ash, Me, Emma and Iman. Well i justy pity ashiqin coz she got this grandpa sitting beside her coughing and sneezing 24/7, i swear she couldn't concentrate on her fantasy world as she knew there wasn't any navi people that was sick, but it's okay. I just pity the old man, he should really take his medicine.

Uhh well, nothing much to say, i thought avatar was fun because iman and luqman said so, but then even i fell asleep. Especially when they're having a war -.-" It was 3 hours! my eyes were so tired and my mind can't stop thinking about shopping. I think it was because of the TGI friday's we ate before watching the movie. Just wanna say ,

DON'T WASTE YOUR MAC AND CHEESE ---> Ash & Emms.

Haiyhh, kids these days -.-"

P/s; NEVER GO SHOPPING WITH EMMA SHAZLEEN ALI.
I sweeeeeeeeearrrr you'll have to bring a chair with you! She goes here and there and here and there and wnt this and tht and this and tht and AAAHHH, haha. haaaa.

I feel so empty,

Day out

Okay so it was a day out, i thought we were gonna meet emma's boyfie -.-" But then CHANGED PLANS. Okay so then i arrived at emma's house around i forgot wht time, and theeen, emma started talking about eye liners,

A FACT ; emma's mom and her sister taught her to always wear her eye liner everytime she goes out. Well it was a good thing, i wish my mother would :D Haha, and theeeen, sooo, for me it was something new, and then i totally asked her to put it on me, WELL I AM KINDA JAKUN, hahaha coz i dont rlly wear make up, never in my whole life. Shockingly yes, im not tht make up kinda girl, but i cn learn :P Hahaha.
So Emma went and took the mirror to teach me how to put it, she did it on her eye first, and there was like punk -.-" Hahaha. I swear, haha, she smudged it all over her eye, AND DAYUMN IT LOOKS LIKE EYEBACKS, haha, a pretty one course, haha,
There were many attempts on putting it for me TO MY EYE, coz i laughed and laughed... laughed... anddddd.................. laughed -.-" It was a failure! Haha, i cant stop laughingg, serious shit, :D


Okay so then we both got ready and emma's sister delima sent us to iylia's house.
We arrived there arnd i dont know wht time again. haha. Emma knows all the info, refer to her BLOG. ahha.
So her mom drove us to kopitiam and then iylia and emma didnt wanna talk to the cab driver in the phone -.-" So i had to do it, and VERYYY VERYY UNFORTUNATEE tht the cab driver didnt know how to speak english -.-"

*clling clling
Cab driver: yeee?
Tasha; uhhhh, uhh, *tlking to iylia; I TK TAU ADDRESS! SHIT SHIT. ckp laaaa!
Iylia: eee tk naaakkkk! ckp la!
Tasha: Cn u take us from bangi kopitiam to theeee lrt setiawangsa?
Cab driver: haa?
Tasha: boleh tak bawa uhh from bangi kopitiam pegy setiawangsa punya lrt?
Cab: Ohhh! boleh boleh! jap *on hold

* a few minutes later
*iylia hang up -.-"
* clling back

Tasha; can uuuu take usss to lrt setiawangsaaa! from bangi kopitiam!
Cab driver: bilaaaa?
Tasha; NOW!
Cab d; haaa? maaf dik, tak reti cakap mat salleh laa
Tasha; *shit whats now in bm and turning to iylia asking herrr; SEKARANGG!
Tasha: OH YEAH SEKARANG!
cab d; okay okay! baruu faham haaaaa, kay dh nak sampai.
Tasha: wokaayy

Then we arrived at serimaya, well i didnt know most of them, the only people i know is zuhair and luqman. haha. yg lain clueless, geehehe, so i was acting bisu coz u know, i dont get along very well with them while emma was the total opposite to me -.-" Hahah. She was like one of the guys, u know CURSING AND STUFF. hahah, i was turning to iylia talking like a WOMAN without CURSING. hahahah, *sarcasm to emma. hihi
I was quite hungry but quite shy to eat with them, so after a few minutes, zuhair asked emma and I to company him at the next cafe. So we did, i was hungry so i joined , :D
Zuhair ordered lamb sandwhich is think, i order the chicken's.
DO YOU KNOW THT IM ALLERGIC TO SPICY THINGS.

so then when we finished eating, said bye to them and then we were off to iylia's house.
We played SOUL CALIBUR 4, hehe, this is the funny part, when i was vs emma.
And it was almost the end of the game, she was busy talking with iylia about idk wht, so i was just doing some moves for my avatar, and u know he did a moonwalk -.-" Well emma's was playing dead, so i boring and i thought i could belasah the thing from above, well u know how player loses by going out of the ring, i practically did it myself. -.-" I didnt have to let people belasah me by doing tht, i pressed a button and it jumped -.-" DAAAMNNN i lost for nothing. hahaha.

Iylia and emma was laughing like hell and i almost peed in my pants, i swear. hahaha.
well, went back to emma's house, and then we did nothing but laughed about at iylia's and then she went online with her boyfie at 2am and thennn i fell asleep around 1am, -.-" Well, I TERBANGUN PUKUL 6.45 anddd EMMA WAS STILL AWAKE BESIDE ME DOING I DONT KNOW WHT ON THE PHONEEEEEEEEEEEEE. whatttaaa whtaaa :O Then i continued sleeping, what laa emma nie, kesian her boyfie got tortured, hhahahaa. kidding.

so we had a lot of fun, thts the conclusion :)